So today I fell asleep thinking about the one and only Vancouver Canucks and as I slowly drifted into the world where anything is real The Maury Show was mumbling softly in the distance. Well I think I may have had a life changing experience while I was in never, never land because there was this extremely disturbing dream that I wish I could show you but I gotta say @StuartLucky got as close as I think anyone could come to it. I have to add he did this photo within an hour of me tweeting about this forever scarring dream. You all probably have a good idea where this is going I think so without further ado “Ryan? You Are Not The Starter” begins. on Maury’s I mean Willie’s set…..
LOUD APPLAUSE… “Today we have a story from Vancouver, B.C. that involves 2 goaltenders vying for the starting spot and we’ll start with Ryan Miller the $6 million dollar man. Hello Ryan how are you?” SCATTERED APPLAUSE “I could be better Willie, I kind have a problem, see I got signed as the starter in Vancouver but no one likes me.” BOOS “And why might that be Ryan?” “Well Willie I do cost $6 million a year and I got off to a real good start but the social media all says I’m not good enough.” MORE BOOS “Do you think you are doing good enough?” “We are in the playoff race Willie I mean really they all just bash me and I don’t know why.” “Could Eddie Lack be the problem? I hear they call him the Stork.” LAUGHS “Ya whatever, more like a dork.” BOOS “The problem they say I have is that I let in the first shot on goal all the time, that’s the offences problem I can’t do everything for them.” BOOS “Ryan let’s be real here, it’s pretty hard to get any sort of momentum going when you’re down the first goal all of the time.” CHEERS “Why can’t they score a couple for me once in a while, Willie?” BOOS “We will come back to this and introduce you to the goalie who feels he should be the starter after the break, the man they call the Stork, Eddie Lack” SUPER LOUD APPLAUSE fade to parade of commercials involving habit and addiction forming products and services and back to show. APPLAUSE “So as I said we would get to meet the Stork here he is Eddie Lack.” STANDING OVATION and as Eddie enters he comes in running straight at Miller, pointing his finger and screaming “You stole my spot, you stole my spot, Miller.” Ryan flips Eddie the bird “I didn’t steal nothin ya twerp, they gave me your spot I didn’t even ask for it.” “Ya sure that’s what all you vets say, why’d ya wanna come here for anyway.” BOOS and CHEERS Then Willie steps in and says “If you guys want to be on my stage you’ll have to settle down a bit.” Eddie flips Ryan the finger back, meanwhile a guy comes and hands Willie a yellow envelope that looks important and the CROWD GOES CRAZY “Well here it is everyone Management’s decision on our goalie controversy but before I announce it I’d like to talk to Eddie for a moment.” CHEERS “Eddie, what makes you think you deserve the starting spot?” “I was here before him and come on, listen to that crowd and social media, it’s obvious they all like me better” OVATION “Well, it seems you have a point there Eddie, I guess I won’t waste anymore time then and get to it.” CROWD BACK ON FEET “When it comes to the goalie controversy in Vancouver, Ryan, you are NOT the starter.” THE CROWD GOES ABSOLUTELY NUTS Ryan Miller’s head falls into his hands on his lap and Eddie does the Jiggy Stork around Miller’s chair a few times all the while screaming I told you it was my spot, I told it was that was my spot, try and take that shit from me? I told you…..
It was at this time I woke up and man I gotta tell you I was seriously messed up for a few minutes. Then I started laughing and tried to find Maury on the TV so I could compare images. I have to iterate that this article in no way resembles or duplicates any event of true nature. This is all based on the images that go on in the projector of my minds attic as I nap. I did of course make up some of the “show” to fit but this honestly is based on a dream I had. I don’t know if I am a Canuck fan that has been scarred by his team or just way to much time on my hands. I would say both factors have made a serious contributions to this and did I mention @StuartLucky contributed too..
On some more positive notes that are directly linked to true events…. Some of these guys Jim Benning has picked are doing quite nice in the absence of others. Adam Clendening has taken position great. I can’t say much about Biega because I don’t know much about him but he looked great last night against the Wild in all areas. Ronalds Kenins can hit and thread the needle for next to impossible goals. Isn’t this exactly the kind of player Canucks fans have been looking for? I don’t believe this is any sort of fly by night thing. It has been a consistent behavior every minute he is on the ice. Can I ask us all a favor? Can we please not ruin him like we have ruined so many in our dark past. I feel that we have a completely competent Management this season that can handle these players just fine. So I ask, can we step back and let these guys do their jobs? Oh and by the way, what’s a goalie controversy?